I went to the doctor on Wednesday the 1st of July. I got a complete work-up. They took blood. And they figured out what was wrong with me.
I have symptomatic anemia.
I always knew I was anemic, and had no blood. But it I had even less than a “normal anemic” should. Like, I should have passed out completely weeks ago. Like, I shouldn’t have been walking around with the amount of blood I DID have. Like, I almost should have been dead because I had no blood.
And then they transfused me. I got 2 units. A Positive. I never knew my blood type before that. And now I do.
It took a total of 10 hours to go through the whole process. From the waiting, to the poking me with an IV, and putting in the blood, then putting in more blood. And stopping the blood as I got sick, then restarting it because I didn’t want to do this in the Emergency Room.
I’ve been feeling better. I have more energy. And the four flights of stairs I’ve been climbing every day have suddenly gotten easier.
But I’m still tired. There is no relief for that. I sleep, but I don’t feel rested. And that’s not going to go away. At least not immediately.
In order to control the anemia (which was caused from a severe loss of blood, possibly due to stress… oh, yeah, and a term that uses the word “ulcer” in it), I’ve had to go see my GI, who found a solution. And I’m taking steps to try to rectify whatever it is additionally that is going on with my body right now.
I’m trying to control the stress and the anxiety. And I’m taking iron supplements to keep my blood in check.
I have another appointment with my GI on Tuesday. Unfortunately, it’s the type of thing that is going to pull me out of work for at least half, if not all of my day.
So, the long and short of this is that I’m tired, but I’m alive.
I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. Maybe it’s because of all the rain.
I’ve been more tired than normal. I get dizzy from standing up. And my insides feel like they are going to fall out unless I find some scotch tape, STAT!
I’m having trouble focusing on simple things. Ok, on a normal day, I am, indeed, easily distractable. But right now, I am so stressed out and on the verge of being overwhelmed that it’s not even funny anymore.
I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning. I know they are going to tell me to rest, and relax and slow down. But I don’t see them planning a big move and getting married and buying cars.
I’m good at multi-tasking. I’m a multi-tasking master. But I’m just so tired. I feel like I’m never going to be able to catch up.
And when I do have time to myself, and I do get to take a break, it is usually spent sleeping, or putting on a DVD and sleeping through it. And even with all that sleep, I still feel tired. And worn out. And I can’t stop just yet.
In church on Sunday, the idea of the Sabbath was brought up. More in the sense that God created the world in 6 days, and on the 7th he rested. And simply put, that if we want to worship God and honor God and live as God would want us to live, then we need to rest as well. And you know something? I really felt that I could relate to that sermon. I usually always find value in what the Pastor/Priest is saying. But I can’t always relate. But I did. I’m just so very tired.
And I can’t remember names anymore. I’m not usually good with names, but I’ve never been BAD with them. And I’m having a hard time remembering names I SHOULD know.
I need to take a break. I need to relax and regroup. But there just isn’t any time to do so.
The next 4 weeks are going to be a whirlwind of stuff to do. Starting today, when Chris and I are going to talk to my parents (formally) about our plans. Wednesday, we’re planning on going to a car auction, then Wednesday, I’m cooking for a potluck at work. Thursday is looking wide open for the moment, but I’m sure that will soon change. Friday, there’s fun stuff (geocaching…) and working with Chris. Saturday is working and possibly a movie to review for Movie Snobs. And Sunday, I have a family cookout.
I’m doing all this while trying to figure out what to do about the money I owe to the IRS, finding a new place to live, so that when Chris and I finally DO move we wont’ be homeless or living out of a hotel. Talking to my boss about what’s going to happen when I leave, and whether or not I’ll have a job when I go. Making moving arrangements for the very end, where we leave and come back and leave again. Being the GM to a softball team that (thankfully) does not play this week. Figuring out what to do about the car/s. And planning a wedding in which I only want a dress.
Don’t get me wrong. I love being busy. I love taking care of people and getting things done. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. But I’m just so tired. And I don’t want to do any of it right now. But I can’t stop. If I stop, everything will fall apart, and all the plans and all the hard work that I’ve done up until this point will have been for nothing.
But I’m just so very tired. I’m going to cross my fingers and hope I find the chance to relax for a bit. There’s just so much TV to catch up on…
I’m not complaining, gentle readers. I’m just tired.
And I’m thinking about revamping the categories… or the whole blog… if there’s time…
Yes, I realize it’s Wednesday. And also, I have a severe abhorrance of coffee. But it was the first thing that came into my head when I started writing this post.
I feel like my insides have been ripped out and left on the side of the road, while cars drive by my insides and splash water as they speed up.
As I’m getting to work, and doing my job, and blogging, and emailing, my body is screaming What the bloody hell is your problem? and boycotting moving. Which makes leaving my desk increasingly difficult.
And my abs feel like I’ve had the very BEST ab workout that money could buy… they hurt when I cough. And sneeze. And breathe.
In short, I feel like I want to die.
I haven’t been sick for very long, but it’s long enough to tell me that I don’t want to be sick anymore. And also, the last time I was sick, I let it manifest for three weeks while it turned into a crazy sinus infection. Go me!
So, next up on the docket for me is making an appointment with my doctor. Or, at the very least, going to the walk-in clinic so they can see me right away and tell me that I am NOT going to die.
But until then, I feel like I’m going to die.
Yes. Oh. My. God. Yes.
This was the single greatest Batman movie to date. No. Seriously. I can’t get over how unbelievable this movie was.
Heath Ledger was absolutely, terrifyingly believeable. He was very Jack Nicholson in The Shining reminiscent. And Jack Nicholson was terrifying in that movie. Heath Ledger was nothing short of amazing. The characteristics, the idiosyncrasies as the Joker… all the little things. It’s a shame he won’t be able to reappear in another Batman movie.
So. Yesterday I took a personal day, in order to see this movie at the IMAX. Every show was sold out. SOLD OUT. Completely. I was smart enough to order tickets Sunday night for D and me… and by the time we got there, they were ALREADY making announcements that every show all day was sold out. Unreal.
But it was a nice day off. And so worth it. I ordered the tickets Sunday night, like I said, and we picked them up at noon yesterday. (Did I mention that this IMAX was in a Jordan’s Furniture Store? So cool.) And we walked around for a bit before they let us in through the top. I was completely overtaken by the awesomeness that was the movie theater.
But Dark Knight was the perfect follow up to Christian Bale’s last movie, Batman Begins. Batman is now a vigilante, but he is still the hero that Gotham deserves… just not the one they need right now. That was a major theme. Batman not being what Gotham needed at the moment. It led to an interesting plot twist at the end.
Things I LOVED:
- Heath Ledger’s performance. Have I mentioned the phrase “deliciously bad” yet?
- The Joker persona. So crazy. So insane. So…. scary. The crimes, the actions committed by the Joker. All beautifully done.
- The special effects were absolutely fantasitc. Transitioning between the actual panaoramic scences and the full screen scenes was barely noticeable… except that they were AWESOME! The full screen scenes were shot in that exclusive IMAX 3-D format, so it looked even cooler.
- Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face. He was brilliantly two-faced, and it was superb.
Things I didn’t care for:
- Christian Bale’s raspy Batman voice. I get that he’s in disguise, and he’s supposed to change his voice… but it was irritating for a minute.
- The Batman timeline is screwed up. Was this supposed to be a remake? Or is it replacing the original Michael Keaton Batman? Are we supposed to just forget the other 4 movies? And if we keep in mind things about the other 4 movies, things that happened would not allow the following movies to exist. Yes. I’m lost in a sea of confusion. Hopefully I’ll understand it better by the next movie.
No, there was sooo much to love, and not much to hate. But I’m definitely going to see this one again. And again.