I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. Maybe it’s because of all the rain.
I’ve been more tired than normal. I get dizzy from standing up. And my insides feel like they are going to fall out unless I find some scotch tape, STAT!
I’m having trouble focusing on simple things. Ok, on a normal day, I am, indeed, easily distractable. But right now, I am so stressed out and on the verge of being overwhelmed that it’s not even funny anymore.
I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning. I know they are going to tell me to rest, and relax and slow down. But I don’t see them planning a big move and getting married and buying cars.
I’m good at multi-tasking. I’m a multi-tasking master. But I’m just so tired. I feel like I’m never going to be able to catch up.
And when I do have time to myself, and I do get to take a break, it is usually spent sleeping, or putting on a DVD and sleeping through it. And even with all that sleep, I still feel tired. And worn out. And I can’t stop just yet.
In church on Sunday, the idea of the Sabbath was brought up. More in the sense that God created the world in 6 days, and on the 7th he rested. And simply put, that if we want to worship God and honor God and live as God would want us to live, then we need to rest as well. And you know something? I really felt that I could relate to that sermon. I usually always find value in what the Pastor/Priest is saying. But I can’t always relate. But I did. I’m just so very tired.
And I can’t remember names anymore. I’m not usually good with names, but I’ve never been BAD with them. And I’m having a hard time remembering names I SHOULD know.
I need to take a break. I need to relax and regroup. But there just isn’t any time to do so.
The next 4 weeks are going to be a whirlwind of stuff to do. Starting today, when Chris and I are going to talk to my parents (formally) about our plans. Wednesday, we’re planning on going to a car auction, then Wednesday, I’m cooking for a potluck at work. Thursday is looking wide open for the moment, but I’m sure that will soon change. Friday, there’s fun stuff (geocaching…) and working with Chris. Saturday is working and possibly a movie to review for Movie Snobs. And Sunday, I have a family cookout.
I’m doing all this while trying to figure out what to do about the money I owe to the IRS, finding a new place to live, so that when Chris and I finally DO move we wont’ be homeless or living out of a hotel. Talking to my boss about what’s going to happen when I leave, and whether or not I’ll have a job when I go. Making moving arrangements for the very end, where we leave and come back and leave again. Being the GM to a softball team that (thankfully) does not play this week. Figuring out what to do about the car/s. And planning a wedding in which I only want a dress.
Don’t get me wrong. I love being busy. I love taking care of people and getting things done. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. But I’m just so tired. And I don’t want to do any of it right now. But I can’t stop. If I stop, everything will fall apart, and all the plans and all the hard work that I’ve done up until this point will have been for nothing.
But I’m just so very tired. I’m going to cross my fingers and hope I find the chance to relax for a bit. There’s just so much TV to catch up on…
I’m not complaining, gentle readers. I’m just tired.
And I’m thinking about revamping the categories… or the whole blog… if there’s time…