And there was a pre-show.  A BLOODY PRE-SHOW!  Seriously… No. Seriously?  You-betcha-by-golly-wow.  There was a pre-show to the trainwreck we fondly refer to as Britney Spears.  As tonite is the premier of her confessional documentary thing, “Britney: For the Record.”

And what kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t blog about this live, gentle readers.  So, here goes…

10:00 pm  You know, I KNEW there had to be a reason I’ve been seeing more of those annoying Britney fragrance commercials…

10:01 pm  Poor Britney… the world has no idea of your pain… Can you see how badly I feel for her?  No?  Good point.  She seems a little out of it, but maybe she’s always been out of it.  You know something?  I’m half tempted to go off and watch something else.  And THAT was just the intro!

10:02 pm  Clearly, her father requested time in the spotlight.  And needs to talk about the “breakfast of champions.”  Honestly, I think he was just doing that for the cameras.  And now, he’s being reprimanded for entering her room by the cameramen/crew.  Bloody PRICELESS.

10:04 pm  She’s been here the whole time???  News to me.  Because I could have sworn she had a giant dose of crazy and went off the deep end.  Perhaps not, considering she’s been here the whole time.

10:05 pm  And sometimes there are just bad performances.  Yes, I am still watching.  Consider me intrigued, and nearly falling out of my chair.  Because this is just funny.

10:06 pm  She’s grown up a lot, and she’s very weary about a lot of things?  What about her F*ing children?  Do they even matter?  I find it odd that there is no mention, like they never happened.  I wonder if she’ll even talk about them during this “documentary”…

10:08 pm  I wonder if her hair is still fake…

10:09 pm  And Britney would be dead without dancing.  You know, I may have to rethink this decision.  I bet the ratings are high for this airing…

10:10 pm  I like watching her dancers.  10 minutes in, and I’ve found the first thing that I liked…

10:11 pm  Awww, and she’s reminiscing about Justin.  Okay, seriously, relationships come and go… she’s acting like she’s the only one who’s gone through it…  And she finally mentions the kiddos, and her breakup with Kevin.

10:13 pm  I hope this only lasts an hour.  Not sure how much more of this I can take.

10:14 pm  The marriage led her down a strange path, and when it ended, she was alone.  You know, there’s a lot to be said about running away.  There would have been no shame in running away… at least for her.  Especially at this point.

10:16 pm  Tee-hee.  She shaved her head.  And she was being rebellious.  And that was none of anybody’s business.

10:18 pm  Dancing and choreography is a spiritual experience?  I’ll have to remember that.

10:22 pm  Another mention of her kids.  Apparently they meant more than I thought. 

10:26 pm  Yeah, she can’t go anywhere without being swarmed with people.  I almost feel bad for her.  They keyword being “almost.”

10:29 pm  Her first cheap shot at Katie Holmes.  Now it’s on.  As if anybody cared.

10:33 pm  She’s not very social with other people…  and she used the phrase “my baby’s daddy.”  I’m officially on the floor, because I think I’ve died.

10:36 pm  The first commercial.  I think this may go on for hours.  What have I gotten myself into?  And it’s a Britney Spears commercial.  I should have guessed.

10:39 pm  And her dad gets creepy again.  “Nice hooker shoes, baby.”  Color me disgusted.  Her dad was all creepy and weird in the first place, but there was just a whole new level of ick added right on that creepy pie.

10:45 pm  The comparison between celebrity and prison… that’s an interesting way of looking at it.  And she claims her life lacks excitement.  Much like “Groundhog Day.”

10:52 pm  Madonna has a special place in her heart for Britney.  And a soapbox to stand on.

10:53 pm  Apparently, the kids are a part of her life.  Seriously, it would have nice to have made mention of that before…  It’s actually interesting to see her kids actually be in the documentary.  What I want to know is if she has custody of them.  And is Kevin still in the picture with his kids?  Or was this just a show to put on for the crews..?  What I AM surprised at is that they claim her life for this interview was an open book, and that’s great… but they never once ask her about her kids, or her issues with K-fed.  I think that’s the thing that upsets me most about her, the children, and her apparent lack of caring towards them.  HOWEVER, this scene at Halloween makes me question that.

10:55 pm  Day 60.  That means this is almost over.  Apparently, the night before the VMA’s, Britney’s “crew” started following her around, and would stay with her for 60 days.  I’m sorry, but come on.  60 days?  With Britney? 

10:59 pm  Perception is everything, and Britney did this so people could really see.

11:01 pm  And she hates waiting.  What I absolutely LOVE about that statement is that her assistant or choreographer handed her a cellphone with a game to distract her.  What?  Is she 5???

11:04 pm  She’s been through hell, and she’s trying to avoid things of the past.  And she goes through life like a “Karate Kid.”  Have I mentioned this is PRICELESS?

Final Thoughts:

I know I’m not her biggest fan.  I even think the word “fan” is far too generous, mostly because I’ve always thought of her as a fruitloop.  There are only two things I can really give her credit for: her music is catchy (even though I’m thoroughly embarrassed to admit that “Womanizer” is on my iPod), and in the face of the media, the papparazzi, her family, friends, the world… she has come out the other side, virtually unscathed.  Or at least trying to get her life back to a place she wants it to be.  I can respect that.

And I gotta give MTV credit for airing that with a straight face.  AND airing a pre-show… AND a psuedo-post-show.  And then RE-airing it immediately following the first showing, just in case you missed first show.  Okay, seriously.  If I had known they were going to show it again, I probably wouldn’t have watched it in the first place.  Maybe I would have waited for another night, so I could have finished watching True Blood, which I will post about later.